Our Awesome Banyo

Every one of us has probably been in a videoke bar at one point or another. Videoke singing has become an activity that is embedded into Filipino culture, and we are damn proud of it.

Knocks out the other Filipino pastime: watching sex scandals

But with the popularity of Videoke, there are always different ways for us to enjoy the activity. These differences have given birth to 8 Types of Videoke Singers. Now I do not have a PhD in Magic Sing or anything, but I’ve had my share of videoke sessions. Though I admit to be a terrible singer, I would at least like to share my thoughts on the different types I have observed:

1. The Shy One

The shy one is your coworker who breaks into a cold sweat at the mention of going to a videoke bar. He/she sits the farthest from the machine, occasionally munching on some fries and going to the restroom. The shy one does his/her best to not get noticed and more often than not joins the other shy ones to do what they do best: not sing at all.

2. The Old One

The old one is likely a veteran at this sport, one who has probably gained a lot of experience in different videoke bars. He/she has a soft spot for the classics, especially the songs you have heard before but never knew the title. The old one is usually skilled at singing, and if you’re not careful takes control of the song selection for the night.

3.The Megaphone

The megaphone is the one who wants to break your eardrums one song at a time. He/she sings with much gusto and can make even Norah Jones songs sound like an approaching 10 wheeler. The megaphone has a wide selection of songs, but will always sing “Through the Fire” at one point. Surprisingly, the megaphone is an ally of the shy one since he/she gets all the attention.

4. The Broken Megaphone

As the name implies, the broken megaphone has the same behavior as the megaphone, but sounds broken. If the megaphone is Led Zeppelin then the broken megaphone is Linkin Park. At the case of the broken megaphone trying to hog the machine, the old one and megaphone do their best to stop him/her.

5. The Turtle

The turtle is always mistaken for the shy one because of the initial silence during the party. The turtle is the one who would always shy away from the mic, but would actually sing after asking him/her for the 20^th time. Once the turtle’s head pops out, he/she may actually become any of the mentioned classes in this list.

6. The Genius

The genius is almost like the turtle, except that he/she is the most talented of the bunch. The genius stays silent at the beginning of the session, probably to observe the others first to see if anyone else is also a genius. When the other singers take some time to grab some snacks or drink some beer, the genius would select a song without anyone noticing and blow everyone away. Unfortunately, the genius would sing just one or two songs and would then join the shy ones, forcing you to deal with broken megaphone instead.

7. The Hungry One

The hungry one did not join the party to sing, but to only eat and drink whatever was served. The hungry one will order the food for everyone, and will probably just sing a couple of songs for the night. In the presence of alcohol, the hungry one is always the one who ends up drunk, since he/she has probably consumed more than his share of drinks. The hungry one laughs hardest at the broken megaphone, and is also the one who tries his/her best to make the shy ones sing.

8. The Whisperer

The whisperer will not sing, but spends the entire night telling others what to sing. Some shy ones actually turn into whisperers since despite the role, the whisperer is seldom forced to sing. The whisperer may be a close friend to the old one, to help the old one remember some songs from the 80’s he/she might have forgotten.