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Banyo Review – Ultra

July 27, 2009 · 2 Comments

Athletes. People who strive to go beyond limits. People who choose to stand up and sweat it out instead of sitting in front of the computer browsing youtube all day. One would imagine members of our national teams eating ten pounds of meat and sparring against lions in the morning; but at the end of the day, they are human too. They sweat, they get tired, they secretly watch local dramas in the evening, and they occasionally need to take an emergency dump after running a gazillion laps.

And when these athletes do whatever it is athletes do in Ultra, what kind of restroom would they be running into?

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Why is it blurry? I just jogged 10 feet.

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A C2 label and a makeshift water dipper

Unfortunately, even using this restroom can be a challenge. The toilets don’t flush, only one sink works in the men’s room, toilet paper is non existent, and a delightful mix of urine and sweat is in the air. Perhaps they were designed to piss the athletes off. They would probably release their frustrations on the field.

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It's just dirt, don't worry.

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I'd like to imagine three ladies freshening up while talking about the handsome import, but all I can think about are the numerous ways they could actually kick my ass.

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That toilet on the left actually made room for the bucket of god knows what.

The dirt from the field is definitely acceptable, seeing that this is Ultra and not Gold’s Gym. It would have been better if the athletes had better facilities though. I remember the restrooms from the university I went to. STUDENTS ACTUALLY WENT TO THE GYM TO TAKE A CRAP. Yeah, they were that great.

Well, “raising additional funds for the improvement of Ultra’s restrooms” is probably at the bottom part of management’s list of priorities (next to “hire more guards to catch trespassers”), but I sure wish they could do better. Make the facilities actually work… or make the faucets flow with gatorade or something.

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